Sabina Carlson Robillard

Below is my eulogy:

I am Sabina’s “Uncle H” …

I’d like to share some memories about my beautiful niece, Sabina.

I first encountered Sabina in early July, 1988. Ken and Barb were visiting Massachusetts from Philadelphia, where they were living at the time. Barbara was about 8 months pregnant with Sabina. We all went to a Bob Dylan concert at Great Woods together. It was Sabina’s first concert, one of many we would share.

My parents, who were my sister Barbara's parents as well, and Sabina’s maternal grandparents, were married on my father’s birthday - August 11th. In her first act of selflessness, Sabina waited until August 12 to be born. Her brother, Adam, followed suit a couple of years later, waiting until the day after Barbara’s birthday to enter the world.

After she was born, I soon traveled down to Philadelphia to visit the newborn Sabina, and held this tiny beautiful baby girl in my arms, the first of a new generation. Who could have predicted what the next 34 years of her life would bring?

I have so many warm memories of Sabina, but I’ll only share a few of them here.

I’d always get a birthday email, phone call, or text, no matter where she was, or what she was doing. I will miss that. Family was everything to her.

I believe it was when the Carlsons all moved back here to Massachusetts, during a family get together, that I finally had the opportunity to talk to Sabina face to face, and find out more details of what she’d been up to. No matter what I asked, Sabina would always cheerfully reply, “That’s a good question!” I would tell her that she’s single handedly trying to save the world. This was before she met Robi, of course. Then it was those two against the world.

When we were in Haiti for Robi and Sabina’s wedding, Sabina took me on a private tour within walking distance of the hotel. So many of the kids flew by on their bicycles, saying hello to Sabina while she was showing me around. She was so proud, and enthusiastic, and helped me navigate the purchase of some hand carved wooden figures.

Last year, Barbara and Ken both turned 60. So what does someone who’s a mother, a spouse, a daughter, a student working on her PhD, and someone battling cancer, do? Well, if you’re Sabina, you see this as an opportunity to take on a couple more projects!

For Ken’s birthday in January, Sabina solicited his family, friends, and colleagues to submit an interactive picture of Ken, along with a quote to go along with it, and presented this loving collection to him in book form.

For her mother’s birthday in April, Sabina asked the people in Barbara’s orbit to submit a word that would describe her. Once she had enough submissions, she and Dayana would create a quilt that included all of these compliments.

With the help of my friend Debby, it was decided that I would submit the word “Cherished.” Sabina got a kick out of it when I told her it was also (almost) the name of a cassette Barbara had by her third true love, David Cassidy. (After Bobby Sherman, and Davy Jones of the Monkees.)

Cherish is the word I would use to describe Sabina as well, but it really isn’t a strong enough term.

I don’t know if it was a conscious decision by Sabina, but what she was creating were tangible reminders of her for Ken to hold, and Barbara to wrap herself in. Not that anyone needs any reminders of Sabina’s boundless love, courage, and integrity. She will also live on in the hearts of the many people whose lives she touched.

When I was in Tulsa this past May, I knew I was going to get a present for Sabina, but I wasn’t sure what it would be. Sabina has a lot in common with Woody Guthrie, so I stopped in at the Woody Guthrie Center to get her an all-cotton t-shirt. It read, “All you fascists bound to lose.” I also bragged about her to a musician friend who mentioned that he’d visited Haiti.

When I returned, that’s when Barbara told me the news that Sabina’s diagnosis had taken a turn for the worse. I had arranged to meet with Sabina, but when I got there, it turned out she had an important online meeting she had to attend. She was still trying to save the world.

So I met with Barbara in front of her home, to give the t-shirt to her so she could present it to Sabina. I don’t remember the exact exchange I had with Barbara, but I probably said something about how devastating it was to hear the news, and that I was having a tough time with it … and she comforted and advised me, and said that’s not what Sabina would want. That helped me get through these last few months.

After she received the t-shirt, Sabina texted me, saying it was so soft and comfortable. Apparently she was having trouble finding comfortable clothes to wear. As always, she went out of her way to express her gratitude.

No child could have asked for a more nurturing mother, no sibling could have a more supportive sister, no spouse could have a more perfectly matched partner, no grandmother could have a more doting granddaughter, and no parent could have a more caring, empathetic, charitable, generous, impressive, brilliant, strong-willed, optimistic, cheerful, inspirational, and successful, yet self-effacing, child.

And no child could have more supportive parents, the ones who set her on this path, taught her about what is really important in life. Ken and Barbara, you were the catalysts, the ones who sent her on this amazing journey, one that will benefit lives all over the world for generations. You moved mountains for her. You gave it your all.

My heart especially goes out to Robi, who not only lost his soul mate, but other family members recently But you couldn’t have asked for a better support system during these challenging times, and we all know you’ll bring up your daughters in a way that would make Sabina proud.

Sabina was not only my beautiful, charming, revolutionary niece, she was also my hero. It’s almost as if she knew she had a limited time on this earth, and had to fill every waking moment doing something extraordinary, whether it was for the world at large, or at home with her family.

I guess I’ll stop there, but just remember to cherish each other. That’s what Sabina would have wanted.

Love,

Uncle H

Elliot's poem about Sabina - You, The Wind

She wore wings on her back

Strewn out of clothes hangers and fabric

Only seventeen and already soaring

We'd sned lettrs in the mail

Switch the "to" and "from" addresses and circulate without postage.

Our little way of getting free mail

AS we celebrated small victories over rivalries with institutions -

One correcspondence at a time.

She filled her envelopes with seeds

Puffy, white, fluffy seeds.

"Wishies," she called them.

Names this way, she explained, because you could wish on them

and let the breeze take hold; an offer of fresh soil to

Bear down the new roots of wishes.

We grew up in Jersey:

Bruised ourselves on imperfectly placid tree beings -

Waltzed barefoot in streams -

Twirled in streetlight bubbles -

Galloped through cornfields -

On one special occasion,

While deep in the trrows of conversation,

sitting in my car,

parked on the side of some cornfield, windows open,

Were mystified by the unused NJ Transit ticket that blew in through the crack

On a sudden gust.

We probably went to NYC after that.

We grew up in Boston:

I remember the soup, always soup, and a constant carry of snacks.

On Jersey, you'd stand on chairs in bookstores to

Broadcast spoken word

Taller than the crests of bookshelves

In Boston, you'd stand on your convin=ctions in the street

The Good Trouble of direct action:

On your voice and in your heart

Casting shadows on mountains

Your fierce was

You carrie forward, proud

A genuine grin that only you could produce while holding

Composed yet clenched fists toward injustice -

Intentional to simultaneously keep your pals open,

to receive, to give, and -

Heart open, to receive, to give -

Your actions were as clear as the air, my dear,

That carves stone with time -

You left your marks; Steadfast and true.

We all knew you are here.

We all know you are here.

Where will we grow next?

My idol, my friend, dear Sabina.

Sabina would play this song every night to Ana at bedtime:

Tom Waits - Shiver Me Timbers

Most of the photographs are courtesy Louino "Robi" Robillard and Ken & Barbara Carlson. If anyone else would like credit, please let me know. If anyone owns a copyright and would like their intellectual property removed, let me know.

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Sabina Carlson Robillard

Sabina Carlson Robillard - Eulogies

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